“Bitter makes me better.”
I always see this statement on my Facebook news feed and on my Twitter home page. But seriously, does it really makes us “better”?
I met so many bitter people. But as what I observed in their lives – on their perspective about life, love, relationship, and many others, it didn’t made them better. In fact, they grew worse than before because it already destroyed their perspective about those things.
What does bitterness can do to us then?
Bitterness is a maximum-security prison specially made for you. And who created that prison? It was YOU. How come? When a person we are bitter with is doing something, even just simple breathing, it ticks our nerves and every stupid and irrational thoughts are already pouring out on our minds. It’s an everyday torture for us when we see and think that person, but technically, that person is doing nothing on us. Who’s the prisoner right now? Is it that person or us? And who’s the jailor? That person or us? Obviously it was us. In short, we are the loser in both sides.
In conclusion, bitterness will only make you worse. It will take away your joy, your ability to trust, to love, to believe. Let go of that bitterness for you to move on with peace.
Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
– Ephesians 4:31-32 (ESV)
I have an advanced valentine article for all of you, and I know that you can relate with this.
We’ve seen a lot of people who was so bitter in love. Are you wondering why some people, or maybe you’ve experienced it also to be bitter. Even me, I’ve experienced it too.
The problem with us humans, we love to rush everything, including love. Because of the shallow message that some movies and music portray for this generation. Because of that, insecurity crawls up in our hearts. We think, “If I will have a relationship today, I will be complete.” So a lot of youth of today are entering relationship even though they are not yet ready for commitment and not mature enough. At the end of the day, they end up broken and BITTER, distorting completely their perspective about love.
And what’s the solution to this problem of this generation? First, it was written in the Bible:
There’s an opportune time to do things, a right time for everything on the earth: Don’t excite love, don’t stir it up, until the time is ripe—and you’re ready.
– Ecclesiastes 3:1, Song of Solomon 2:7; 3:5; 8:4 (The Message)
The basic point that we need to understand is this: IS THIS ALREADY THE SEASON IN YOUR LIFE FOR RELATIONSHIP? What are the top priorities in your current season in life? Is it studies? Relationship with your family? Or importantly, your relationship with God? Have a self-assessment to your priorities. If having a relationship is not in your top priorities, don’t pursue it and FOCUS ON YOUR PRIORITIES.
And the best medicine for bitterness? BE SECURED IN THE LOVE OF JESUS CHRIST. Imagine, He gave up His life for you and me, and He died on the cross because He loves you, me, you who are reading this article, you who are currently in the state of bitterness, you who are tired and wearied because of finding a relationship but you’re not yet ready. In other words, HE LOVES US! GOD LOVES YOU, DEAL WITH IT!!
Let us have a single backtrack in history. In June 12, 1987, former US President Ronald Reagan made a speech at the Brandenburg Gate near the Berlin Wall, challenging the former Soviet Union leader Mikhail Gorbachev to dismantle the Berlin Wall that divided the city of Berlin, Germany. During that time, that nation was divided into communist East Germany and democratic West Germany. The wall also became the symbol of the Cold War. During his speech, President Reagan quoted this famous line, “Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!”. After two years, the Wall finally fell.
Maybe for some of you, God is telling you that same line. Maybe God is saying to you, “(Your name), tear down this wall!” But what’s that wall I’m talking about? I’m going to point out the wall of unforgiveness and bitterness.
Why break that wall? I’m going to show you a picture that says it all:
If you have built a wall of unforgiveness and bitterness to the person who had offended you, it’s not just leaving your built relationship to rot, it also separates you from God. It also serves as a prison for you. Why? Because of that wall, you are being tortured emotionally when you see that person who had offended you.
How can I break this wall? You will only need one sledgehammer, and that’s what we call FORGIVENESS. How can I forgive? Jesus taught us how to forgive:
Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?”
Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.
– Matthew 18:21-22
Jesus is not saying, “When it comes to 77, you’re out!” No! It means, we should forgive as many as you can. For further understanding about that Scripture, read Matthew 18:22-35.
Yes folks, we need to forgive those person who had offended you, and release all the bitterness towards him/her. That will break the wall of unforgiveness and bitterness. And when that wall falls, that’s the time God will move in your life.
For some of you reading this post, and you have built that wall, this is what God is saying to you right now, “(Your name), tear down this wall!“
For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
– Matthew 6:14-15
I hope this short blog will help you choose.
Being bitter means you will live in your past. Living being haunted by your actions and decisions you’ve made or living always remembering the hurt that people had done to you. Being bitter will result on missing God’s breakthroughs in your life.
On the other hand, being better means you will leave your past behind and moving forward in life. Whatever wrong decisions you made before, or maybe no matter how hurtful people had done to you, you will leave that behind and looking forward to what God has prepared for you on the way.
How about you, what will you choose? Will you still live in your past or you will move forward? Will you choose to be bitter? Or better?
Make your choice.
Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.
– Isaiah 43:18-19